One of my best friend recently had another baby. He is absolutely adorable, and she is doing great. But she is kind of a pro at this. She came from a fairly large family and they have a fairly large family. This got me thinking about new mamas out there, young mamas, older mamas, and all the other mamas who got thrown into the deep end. You, my dear, should know by now that I love checklists. So here are the top five pieces of advice that I wish I had gotten, and the little tokens of love that I give now.
1. Be gentle with yourself.
This is going to look a different for every mama. If this means making sure you take a shower EVERY day, do it. If it means taking a break from Facebook, do so. Maybe you need to admit that wiping noses and butts all day isn’t the globe-trotting lifestyle you envisioned, but realize that it is world changing to the owner of the nose and butt. Go out for coffee while they are still in their carrier seat. Know that it is NOT selfish to take care of yourself. So stop feeling guilty about it.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
99% of life is small stuff. Unless your baby has a serious illness, it is all small stuff. Put the baby in their nice dress up clothes. Take pictures. They will outgrow them with the tags still on if you don’t. You won’t completely mess up your kid if they eat cereal for dinner, skip a bath, or fall asleep in their clothes once in a while. No one else knows your baby like you do. Let them play and get messy. (That’s why God invented skin. It is washable.) Stop taking stuff so seriously.
3. This too shall pass.
Sometimes you just have to admit that parenthood isn’t all giggles and snuggles. It isn’t always fun and it isn’t always pretty. They will always stop crying - eventually. Take it one day at a time, sometimes it is one hour at a time, and other times it is literally telling yourself to deal with a problem in 60 second increments.
Other times, it is the extreme opposite. Everything is big laughs, big love, and big joy all the time. Remind yourself that this too shall pass…so take more pictures and videos.
4. The retail market for new parents is huge!
Having a new baby is one of the most life changing experiences that you can have. It is joyful and it is scary. Unfortunately advertising likes to prey on “New Parent Fear” and the desire to provide and prepare. Trust me when I tell you, you don’t NEED things like a diaper genie or a wipe warmer. If you can afford one, go for it. If you are given one, awesome. But if you are choosing between the copay to see the doctor and a wipe warmer… well, the choice should be easy.
5. Don’t judge.
Pick your battles. Don’t judge other parents. They have no idea what they are doing either. Don’t judge yourself against them. Just be the best you can be. Don’t judge yourself against your past. What you didn’t know then, you do know now, so now you can do better. Don’t judge your body against magazines or commercials. Much like the handprints on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame, the stretch marks on your belly mark where greatness lived first.
Good luck my friend. You are doing a great job.
Anna
1. Be gentle with yourself.
This is going to look a different for every mama. If this means making sure you take a shower EVERY day, do it. If it means taking a break from Facebook, do so. Maybe you need to admit that wiping noses and butts all day isn’t the globe-trotting lifestyle you envisioned, but realize that it is world changing to the owner of the nose and butt. Go out for coffee while they are still in their carrier seat. Know that it is NOT selfish to take care of yourself. So stop feeling guilty about it.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
99% of life is small stuff. Unless your baby has a serious illness, it is all small stuff. Put the baby in their nice dress up clothes. Take pictures. They will outgrow them with the tags still on if you don’t. You won’t completely mess up your kid if they eat cereal for dinner, skip a bath, or fall asleep in their clothes once in a while. No one else knows your baby like you do. Let them play and get messy. (That’s why God invented skin. It is washable.) Stop taking stuff so seriously.
3. This too shall pass.
Sometimes you just have to admit that parenthood isn’t all giggles and snuggles. It isn’t always fun and it isn’t always pretty. They will always stop crying - eventually. Take it one day at a time, sometimes it is one hour at a time, and other times it is literally telling yourself to deal with a problem in 60 second increments.
Other times, it is the extreme opposite. Everything is big laughs, big love, and big joy all the time. Remind yourself that this too shall pass…so take more pictures and videos.
4. The retail market for new parents is huge!
Having a new baby is one of the most life changing experiences that you can have. It is joyful and it is scary. Unfortunately advertising likes to prey on “New Parent Fear” and the desire to provide and prepare. Trust me when I tell you, you don’t NEED things like a diaper genie or a wipe warmer. If you can afford one, go for it. If you are given one, awesome. But if you are choosing between the copay to see the doctor and a wipe warmer… well, the choice should be easy.
5. Don’t judge.
Pick your battles. Don’t judge other parents. They have no idea what they are doing either. Don’t judge yourself against them. Just be the best you can be. Don’t judge yourself against your past. What you didn’t know then, you do know now, so now you can do better. Don’t judge your body against magazines or commercials. Much like the handprints on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame, the stretch marks on your belly mark where greatness lived first.
Good luck my friend. You are doing a great job.
Anna